


Birds of a Feather Marry Together

by unifiedFiction



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, We all know how Fake Dating AUs end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 14:48:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21738592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unifiedFiction/pseuds/unifiedFiction
Summary: Jacques Schnee has given his daughters an ultimatum: find husbands, or he will find one for each of them. Desperate to avoid this fate, they turn to people close to them for help with the easiest plan they can think of: lie.The lie is only supposed to have to be for one night, over dinner. But things quickly spiral out of control. How long can they keep this up?
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Winter Schnee, Ruby Rose/Weiss Schnee
Comments: 8
Kudos: 146





	1. Chapter 1

“Christ, if Atlas’s ships were gaudy, then there isn’t a word in the English language to describe this place.”

Qrow Branwen examined the Schnee Manor with crossed arms and a frown. There was no way something this extravagant was necessary for a family of five, even with servants and workers living on-site. He scoffed and shook his head, already regretting his decision to walk the property on foot as he took the first few steps up the far-too-large staircase. “Seriously,” he muttered to the man who had guided him here from the gate, “can’t they afford an escalator?”

There was a small hesitation, but no sign of humor in the man’s expression. “I don’t believe that would match the decor, sir,” he said simply, causing Qrow to roll his eyes and sigh deeply. “If you’ll excuse me, I am going to let my master know you are here.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Qrow waved a hand lazily, and watched the man nod and walk briskly ahead of him before disappearing through the elegant door. In retrospect, Winter would probably scold him for his nonchalant attitude.

Then again, she was lucky he agreed to wear a suit and wait until dinner to drink. She’d just have to cut her losses somewhere.

He stepped through the door, noting the man from before bowing and gesturing towards him. His eyes quickly shifted to the other figures in the room, both of which examining him with unimpressed expressions. He glanced between them for a moment before clearing his throat and straightening his posture. Maybe he could offer just a bit more effort. Winter would just have to owe him an extra favor.

“_ This _ is your new fiancé..?” the man asked, not even bothering to hide disgust from his voice as he looked at Winter with an expression to match. 

Maybe she’d owe him two extra favors, he thought as the urge to make a crude gesture came to mind. He looked at her for a moment, wondering if she could tell that was what he was thinking, before looking back to the annoyingly posh man who could only be Jacques Schnee. “It’s an honor to meet you, sir,” he said respectfully, even giving a polite bow. _ Three favors _, he decided.

Jacques snorted and shook his head. “Honestly, Winter, I didn’t realize you were _ desperate,_” he said with a huff.

The quick twitch of her eyebrow didn’t go unnoticed, but she spoke in a deceptively calm demeanor. “Desperation had nothing to do with it, father. I think you’ll find there is more to him than meets the eye. I met him through the General himself, after all.”

Another scoff from Jacques. “Yes, because James is _ such _a good judge of character,” he said sarcastically, shaking his head. “Well, I suppose we shall see about that. Mister Branwen, yes? Do have enough respect to shed your coat before letting Winter show you to the dining room.” He waved a hand dismissively, making it clear just how uninterested he was in whatever response Qrow might give, and left the room.

Qrow waited to ensure he was out of the room before letting his shoulders slouch again and looking to Winter. “You hear that? I’m Mister Branwen now. I think he likes me.”

The snicker that accompanied his comment earned him a glare from Winter. “Would you take this seriously?” She snapped, voice low and harsh. “Stop being so... so over-the-top.”

Qrow put his hands up defensively. “Whoa, hey, you told me to behave like I was meeting a king. I’m trying here.” He narrowed his eyes and cut her off before she could say anything more. “Don’t forget who’s doing who the favor here, Ice Queen. Whether you can tell or not, I _ am _trying.”

Winter gritted her teeth and glared at him. She drew a deep breath, and despite the annoyance obvious on her face, the steps she took toward him were cool and even. She stepped over to him and began to unbutton his jacket. “Don’t speak of our deal for the rest of the night,” she whispered, so quietly he almost didn’t hear it. She slipped the jacket from his shoulders and handed it off to another servant — a woman who had seemingly appeared from nowhere — and then looked back at him. “Shall we go, then?” She asked casually, as if he hadn’t just been scolded seconds earlier.

“...Yeah, sure,” Qrow said with a small nod. Hopefully she would get the message that he was agreeing to her terms.

She nodded and smiled. A full 180 from before. “Wonderful.” She slid a hand down his arm, taking his hand and intertwining their fingers together. Qrow didn’t even get the chance to tighten his own grip before he was being gently but firmly tugged to another doorway.

_ It’s just one night,_ he reminded himself. _ You can handle this._

She directed him through a large room with a fireplace, couches, chairs, and decorations. A sitting room, he assumed — a rich person’s way of making useless extra space look like it was being used. Qrow rolled his eyes and continued to follow Winter’s pulling, feeling out of place in his black suit among the whites, greys, and blues throughout the manor. It felt like he was being stared at, whether there was anyone else around or not. Even the paintings on the wall felt like they were glaring at him. He swallowed at the tightness in his throat and shook his head to clear his thoughts. Who cared if he stood out? Did he really want to blend in with this kind of bland scenery anyway? _ Hell no. _

Through another door, the first thing that caught his eye was a balcony of sorts beyond the extravagant table. A girl he could only assume was a servant was making their way along it, head pointed down and steps quick and even. She ran her hand along the banister, occasionally pulling away to rub her fingers together before putting it back. He couldn’t help but watch her methodical movements until she disappeared through the door at the end of the balcony. Only then did he look down at the actual room he was occupying. 

Even the little bit of green foliage accompanying the white flowers on the table felt out of place, the only warm color in the whole room besides himself. The table was big enough to accommodate his sister’s entire clan, though that at least made sense considering Jacques’ position of ‘importance’ in Atlas. The rest of the room was the same as everything Qrow had seen so far -- cold. White, gray, the occasional light blue. 

He idly wondered if the food they’d be served would be the same way, or if it would stand out like the flowers. The thought made him smirk, though he suppressed the snicker to keep from getting glared at again.

“My father should be back soon,” Winter said, cutting through the silence. He glanced down at her, a bit surprised that she was still smiling up at him. “Shall we chat until he arrives?”

“Uh… sure.” Qrow nodded, following her lead to sit in one of the ornate chairs around the table.

* * *

“Ruby? Ruby!” Before the younger girl could respond, Weiss snatched her scroll from her hand with a huff, tucking it between the white material of her dress and the black leather seat of the car. “Give me that! You can’t spend the whole night playing games!”

“Hey!” Ruby pouted, crossing her arms. “I wasn’t playing any games! I was… texting Yang.” She averted her gaze, twiddling her fingers nervously. “I’ve never had to do anything like this before, okay? I needed advice.” She found a ribbon on her dress, and soon enough it was being included in her twiddling as she weaved it mindlessly between her fingers. 

Weiss rolled her eyes. “First of all, it’s not like we’re _ really _ engaged. Second, Ruby, I told you earlier. No matter how hard you try… Father isn’t going to approve of you anyway.” She placed a hand over Ruby’s to stop her from continuing to play with the ribbon. “You don’t have to try so hard.” 

“But what if he _ did_!” Ruby insisted. “I mean, like, what if I make a _ really _ good impression and he-” She cut herself short when Weiss held up a hand, and let out a sigh. “I know, I’m sorry. I just… I don’t know, Weiss, this is hard.” Her shoulders slumped a bit as she thought of her preemptive defeat. 

“Then you shouldn’t have agreed to come!” the heiress snapped. Regret immediately showed in her eyes afterward, and she sighed, turning away from Ruby and leaning against the door of the car. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled. I…”

Ruby smiled and grabbed Weiss’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s alright,” she said softly. “I know, you’re nervous too. But don’t worry!” She smiled that bright smile Weiss knew was meant to cheer her up, though it didn’t hide the nervousness in her eyes. “Your BFF is here! We can handle this together. Right?”

Weiss sighed and looked out the window, pretending to be focusing on the scenery as it flew past them despite the fact that none of it particularly caught her attention. “You didn’t have to come.”

“Of course I did. It’s what friends are for.” Ruby gave Weiss another, softer smile — a contagious one that she couldn’t help but return. “It’s just one night. We’ll be okay… right?”

“Yeah.” Weiss nodded, squeezing Ruby’s hand gently. “We’ll be fine.”

Ruby leaned against Weiss’ shoulder, and suddenly the facade of a confident girl ready to take on a challenge was shattered. Right against Weiss’ side, Ruby’s fidgeting became all the more obvious. A tiny sigh escaped her, and as she watched a large gate open ahead of their vehicle to let them pass into a long private drive, Ruby let out a soft whine and grabbed Weiss’ hand. 

“Everything will be fine,” Weiss assured her. She let her thumb brush over the back of Ruby’s hand in what she hoped would be as comforting a gesture as she intended. “Weren’t you the one who just convinced me of that?”

“I know, I know…” Ruby nodded, though worry was still clear in her eyes. She took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. “Okay. Okay. Maybe we should practice?”

Weiss stared at her blankly, utter confusion on her face. “Practice what?”

“You know, the kind of things we should say.” Ruby bounced, biting her lip. “What’s the proper way to say ‘I love you’? Is it ‘I love _ you _ ’ or is it ‘I _ love _ you’?” She gasped suddenly. Weiss’ deep sigh went entirely unnoticed as a deep blush crossed her face. “Y-Your dad isn’t going to expect to see us k-kiss, is he?!”

Weiss also blushed, but she rolled her eyes. “S-Stop being ridiculous. That is the _ last _ thing he would want to see.” She squeezed Ruby’s hand even harder. “Please just calm down.”

Ruby let out a small squeak and suddenly got very still. “Right! Right. Everything’s okay.” She took another deep breath. “Everything. Is. Okay.”

Weiss glanced back out the window to gauge their approach to the mansion and frowned when she saw they were right upon it. “It has better be, because we’re out of time.”

Ruby swallowed at the lump in her throat. “Oh god, Weiss, am I ready for this?” 

She was answered first with a hug, then with words. 

“Of course you are.”


	2. Surprise!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby and Weiss finally arrive to the mansion, eager to see who Winter brought along. Only to find... surprise! It was someone they already knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating a fic almost a year later? Yeah, unfortunately. I have no idea when chapter 3 will be done either. Life's unpredictable like that.
> 
> Either way I hope you're all able to enjoy this!

No amount of reassurance was able to calm Ruby Rose’s nerves as she stepped out of the car and looked over the intimidating silhouette that was the Schnee Manor. She was practically shaking as they approached the door, led by the person who had driven them this far. Even if it wasn’t for the charade they had to keep up, Ruby would still have been gripping Weiss’ hand tightly in her own. It was like she was holding on for dear life — and in her mind, maybe she was. 

Weiss didn’t question it. She simply interlocked their fingers and have Ruby a reassuring squeeze as they were ushered through the door into the mansion. She slipped out of the coat she’d been wearing over her dress and handed it to a servant nearby, and once she realized that an expectant look wasn’t getting the message through to Ruby, made a point to remove hers for her as well. Once the two were alone again, she released a soft sigh and stepped in front of Ruby. She took both hands in hers and practically forced eye contact. “You’re okay,” she whispered. “Remember?”

Ruby nodded fervently. “I know. I just…” She glanced around. “...I didn’t realize this place was so _ big _.” She looked around again, searching for any details of the foyer she may have missed the first time she looked. “I hope I don’t get lost…”

Weiss let out a sort of half laugh and shook her head. “You shouldn’t. But I’ll ensure that someone escorts you if you have to go to the bathroom.” She had a tiny smirk, a teasing look she’d learned from years of hearing Yang softly bully her sister. Maybe the same look and brand of humor would help Ruby relax, she hoped. 

And it seemed to. She looked to Weiss, finally, and reflexively stuck out her tongue. It only took a second for her to realize what she’d done, though, and she quickly retracted it with an embarrassed look. “I’m sorry, Weiss, I know you said to take this super seriously…”

“It’s fine.” Weiss smiled at her. “You get _ one _ free pass.” She started leading Ruby toward a door, slowly releasing one hand but ensuring that she kept a hold of the other. “Now that you seem to be feeling a bit better, shall we go?”

Ruby paused, confusion crossing her features as she numbly followed. “Go where?”

“To the dining room?” Weiss answered as though it was obvious. “Where else would we be having dinner?”

Ruby’s confusion only grew. “Your dad isn’t going to come meet me?”

Weiss shrugged. “He’ll be seeing you at dinner either way. Personally, I don’t want to waste my time waiting around for him.” And with that, she pulled a bit harder, and the two of them were making their way through the door. The heiress’ mind was made up, and there was no changing it now. 

Ruby briefly wondered if this was just another way for Weiss to voice her displeasure with her father, but decided it was best not to ask. She let Weiss lead her through the mansion, unable to hide the curiosity from her eyes as she looked around at the details, the colors — they had a _ theme _! Her house and her friends’ houses when she was little had always been filled with everything that caught their eye, so this place, with its furniture and matching hues on the walls and floors, fascinated her. She wondered who did the decorating. Weiss’ mother? Her father? Did they hire someone to do it?

This was definitely serving as a nice distraction from her nervousness. She was so focused on her surroundings that the things — or rather, the person — in her immediate vicinity went unnoticed and virtually forgotten until she ran directly into Weiss’ back. They both released sounds of surprise, nearly stumbling over one another right to the floor before catching themselves against the door (A door? When had they reached a door?) in front of them. 

“Ruby, what are you doing?!” Weiss snapped, voice a low whisper but relaying her frustration all the same. “Watch where you’re going.”

“Sorry!” Ruby exclaimed. Then, when Weiss glared at her, her voice lowered to a whisper as well — “I’m sorry! I was admiring the mansion…”

“_ Please _, Ruby,” Weiss said tiredly, “watch where you’re going. And for heavens sake, keep your voice down.”

“I’m sorry!” She said again. 

Weiss shook her head and sighed. She started to push open the door, but paused at the sound of voices. She listened for a moment. There were two — male and female. Both sounded familiar, but she could only identify the woman. “Winter is already here,” she informed Ruby. “Ready to go in? It sounds like it’s just her, and whoever she brought.”

Ruby nodded. “Yeah. I’m really curious to see what kind of guy she’s, uh, marrying anyway.”

* * *

Qrow had legitimately _ never _ seen Winter Schnee laugh as hard as she was now. In fact, the only times he’d ever seen her laugh had been a polite chuckle or a heavier exhale she hadn’t quite managed to stop from escaping. But now? Her hand covered her mouth, her eyes crinkled, voice echoing in the large dining room. He was beginning to wonder if she was able to breathe, but as soon as the thought occurred to him she answered that question by taking a nice deep near-gasp of a breath. She waved a hand in front of her face, as if compelling herself to calm down, and finally looked over at Qrow. “I-I’m sorry, but he said _ what _?”

The huntsman snorted and grinned at her. “He said, ‘where’s the lady with the bum tooth?’”

“I thought the _ dog _ had the bad tooth!” she managed to get out before holding her breath to keep more laughter at bay.

“It did,” Qrow answered, unable to stop the small snickers that escaped him every time Winter’s face shifted. “That’s the joke.”

“I _ get _ the joke!” Winter declared loudly, before laughing again. “I just can _ not _ believe you thought this was an appropriate place to tell it!”

It was like Winter’s amusement was contagious; Qrow couldn’t stop himself from snickering through his answer. “Well considering the way you’re losing your mind right now, I’d say it was a good call.”

Winter shook her head. It was obvious she was trying to give him a disapproving look, but it fell short with the smile that kept tugging at her lips. “Don’t you dare say anything like that when my father arrives, do you hear me?”

“I don’t know,” Qrow mused, “if he finds my jokes even half as funny as you do, I think that’ll just earn me even more brownie points.” He grinned at the dirty look Winter tried desperately to give him (and failed at). “Oh, relax, Ice Queen. I know how to judge a crowd.”

“I certainly hope so,” Winter said as her laughter finally died off and a soft sigh escaped her. “I really do need this dinner to go well.”

The shift in attitude caused Qrow to take pause. He glanced over at Winter, a bit surprised by the sudden shift in her attitude. “Is it just me, or are you actually nervous about this?”

The specialist scoffed and looked away from him. “I wouldn’t have to be nervous if you didn’t have such a crude sense of humor,” she stated matter-of-factly.

“And I wouldn’t have to be nervous if you didn’t feel the need to judge me alongside your father, but that’s the first thing I got hit with when I walked through the door.” Qrow rolled his eyes and ignored Winter’s taken aback expression. “Just relax, act like you give a damn about me, and we’ll be fine. Alright? I’ve got this under control.” He glanced over at her expression, eyes staring as if she couldn’t believe what he’d said. He met her eyes, but only to relent before she did with a deep sigh. “Don’t give me that look. I’m just trying to say that you can trust me with this, and you don’t have to keep playing the part of the one keeping me in line.” There was a long moment of hesitation before he took one of her hands in his own. “We’re supposed to be a happy couple, right? Just… keep laughing at my jokes and pretending to enjoy my company. And who knows? We might just make this horrible party somewhat fun.”

There was a long pause, broken only by a tiny “Oh…” from Winter. Subconsciously, her hand gripped his, soaking in the warmth radiating off of his skin as she attempted to process everything he’d just said. It was odd, seeing a softer side of a man she was used to arguing and fighting with, and for a long minute it felt unnatural. 

But just as she’d started to grow accustomed to it, possibly even beginning to enjoy it, they were interrupted. The door to the now-quiet dining room was pushed open, and Winter quickly pulled her hand back and folded both hands neatly in her lap. She looked toward the door as someone peeked their head inside, and then she stood with a smile upon realizing who it was. “Weiss,” she greeted warmly, “I was wondering when you’d be here. Why in the world are you sneaking around like that?”

Weiss laughed nervously, standing halfway through the door. “I’m sorry.” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I was just hesitant to interru-” She stopped short, eyes finally landing on Qrow. She stared for a long moment before they shifted back to Winter. “You… Y-You brought _ him _, of all people?”

Qrow frowned and crossed his arms, borderline pouting as he huffed. “So that’s what we’re doing today, huh?” he asked in an annoyed tone, “We’re being rude?”

“What?” Weiss blinked, confused for a moment, before shaking her head. “No, nothing like that. It’s just that… um…”

Winter watched as her sister bit her lip, glancing over her shoulder and then back into the room. “Well?” Winter finally asked somewhat irritably. “What is it? Or are you just going to stand in the way of the door all evening?”

Weiss let out a nervous laugh. “W-Well, you see, it’s kind of a funny story, but I–”

She was cut off by another female voice from behind. “Weiss! Come on, I can’t get in or even see!” 

Weiss let out a tiny surprised gasp as she was gently but firmly pushed out of the way. Another girl stepped into the room, a bright smile on her face that reached even her silver eyes. “Winter! So good to see–” She also cut herself short, however, though her expression was a simple one to identify: joyful surprise. “_ Uncle Qrow _?!”

“Ruby?” Qrow blinked, similarly surprised as he stood from his own seat. “Ruby, what are you doing here?”

“I’m on a date with Weiss!” Ruby declared before giggling, then stepping closer. “Actually, I’m just pretending, but you didn’t hear that from me!” she added in a whisper.

The two Schnee sisters shared in a similar expression, both raising their hands to pinch their noses in frustration. “Ruby,” Weiss scolded, “you can’t just go telling people that or you’ll ruin the whole plan!”

“But he’s my uncle!” Ruby whined.

“There are still staff members who may overhear you, Ruby!” Weiss hissed, earning a nice “shh” from Winter. She promptly lowered her voice, but continued her scolding. “How could you be so careless?! You _ know _ better!”

Qrow, meanwhile, simply snickered. “Don’t worry, kid. We’re in the same boat.”

Ruby’s whining caused by Weiss’ scolding quieted, and she gasped. “Wait, so… so you’re Winter’s date?” She burst into a fit of giggles. “Oh man, what a weird coincidence!”

“Yeah, well, when I heard the old man wanted these girls to bring home husbands, I didn’t exactly expect to see _ you _ here, squirt,” Qrow teased, pulling his niece in for a firm one-armed hug.

“Speaking of which,” Winter began, slowly lowering her hand to look at her sister, “what were you thinking, Weiss?” The older Schnee grabbed her sister’s wrist firmly, giving a rough tug to pull her closer so that she could safely whisper to her. “Qrow is right. Father demanded that we find _ husbands _ . And you brought home a _ girl _?”

Weiss hesitated a moment, nervousness apparent in her expression. Her eyes darted down to where Winter held her, then back up to meet her gaze. “I…” She drew a breath to push away her nervousness. “I have not kept my sexuality a secret since discovering it, Winter. And I _ will _ make father understand that I will not be taking a husband, no matter what he says.”

“More power to ya, kid,” Qrow said with a satisfied nod. “This whole thing is stupid, anyway, if you ask me. Good job, sticking it to the man like that.”

Ruby snorted and elbowed her uncle. “Uncle Qrow, nobody says “_ the man _” like that anymore!”

“Really? Damn, I didn’t think I was _ that _ old.”

“_ Enough _ !” Winter sighed deeply and shook her head. “Our personal opinions on this matter aren’t important. What _ is _ important is that we get through this night with as little conflict as possible.” Her eyes moved back to Weiss, offering only a disapproving expression. Weiss immediately shrank under this look and looked away as Winter continued to speak. “That was the whole purpose of this plan, wasn’t it? To keep the peace? And yet here you are, going out of your way to do things that will only make our father angry.” She held up a finger before Weiss could protest. “No, no. While your sexuality may have played a part in this decision, I know you, Weiss. Dear sister of mine, you just couldn’t allow yourself to appear obedient, could you?”

“I… Well…” Weiss fidgeted a bit, her sister’s gaze almost physically weighing on her. “I couldn’t just roll over and give in to what he wanted!”

Winter nodded. “So you decided to rebel in your own way, by bringing a girl?” The silence that followed the question was all the answer she needed. Winter sighed and shook her head. “Weiss, if this evening goes poorly because of this decision–”

“It won’t!” Ruby cut in quickly. She offered Winter a bright, albeit nervous, smile as both Schnees’ blue eyes became directed at her. “I promise, Winter, it won’t go poorly! I’ll make sure I impress your dad!”

Winter’s raised eyebrow made it obvious just how little she believed her. She looked to Qrow, as if asking for confirmation. But the huntsman merely shrugged, causing her to sigh again. “Ruby, you understand that you are undertaking a huge task, correct? Even moreso than Qrow did by coming here?”

Ruby nodded. “I know. Weiss told me before I agreed to come here that your dad probably wouldn’t like… y’know, that she brought a girl.” She shifted her weight from the balls of her feet to her heels, rocking back and forth. “But it’s okay. I accepted that challenge when I agreed to come anyway.” She glanced to Qrow – who gave her an encouraging nod – and then looked back to Winter. “I came here because I want to help. Not just Weiss, either; I want to help both of you. So just… please give me a chance.”

Winter eyed Ruby for a moment before looking to Weiss. She took in her sister’s smile for a moment before then allowing her gaze to shift to Qrow, who caught her eye as Ruby looked away from the two of them. He winked at Winter, giving an affirmative nod that almost pulled a deep sigh straight out of her lungs. Ruby was his niece; of course he would believe in her. Why would she think for even a second that he would back her up? The specialist shook her head and crossed her arms before giving Ruby one final once-over and nodding. “Alright. But you’d better prove me wrong about this.”

A smile spread across Ruby’s face; she looked as though she could leap forward and crush Winter in a hug at any given moment. In fact, Winter wasn’t entirely convinced that Ruby didn’t plan on doing precisely that.

At least, not before she was interrupted by a voice in the doorway.

“Prove you wrong about what, exactly?”


End file.
